“You have undiagnosed infertility,” she said while scribbling some diagrams on a notepad showing me what was going on with my non-baby-making body.
I listened for a minute, trying to take it all in, and then gave her a puzzled look and said, “What about the endometriosis..?”
She looked off like she was doing some difficult math problem in her head and said, “Oh, well, let me do another exam.” I was frustrated, felt overlooked, but was so glad I spoke up.
A couple months later I was having surgery to remove the endometriosis. Turns out, I had a stage 2.5 out of 4, and the surgery was very much needed. I still haven’t brought myself to look at the pictures of it that they gave me (yes, real photos #ew), but I know that there was some on my ovaries, among other important places for conceiving.
It’s been three months now, and I’m slowing getting use to cycles that don’t involve debilitating pain. It’s a super weird feeling! They’re not completely pain free of course, and the endo will gradually grow back. But for now, it’s a night and day difference.
Through the procedures, the diagnoses, the surgery, all of it – I have become truly thankful for the body I have. For all it carries me through. For how it keeps me going. For the life I experience in it.
My body may not be doing all that I want it to, but it’s strong, it’s healthy, it’s healing, and there’s room for God to work a miracle in it.